To the person who just stole 70 lbs of Christmas packages off my porch — Jesus loves you, but it’s gonna take me a bit to come around.
— Mark Hemingway (@Heminator) December 17, 2014This awakens memory of a story from my college days. When a friend sought relief from a teacher—Monsignor Cosgrove, I think—after doing poorly on an exam, the teacher's response was
God's gonna give you an A for effort, but Father's gonna give you an F.